Tristan - enter the madness...

Friday, April 28

Thought for the day

In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, and green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Crème Donuts. And Satan said "You want chocolate with that?" and Man said "Yes!" and Woman said "and while you're at it add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Cake" and said "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food".

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its £1 double cheeseburger. Then said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said "it is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created the National Health Service.

Thought for the day ..........

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040 there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them????

That thing everyone's doing...

First thing that comes to mind

I AM: ME!!!

I WANT: A milkshake

I WISH: I could stop time whenever I wanted

I HATE: liars

I MISS: my old house

I HEAR: gentle humming of my PC, and Bill downstairs answering the phone in reception.

I WONDER: "why?" sometimes.

I REGRET: nothing


I AM NOT: gay

I DANCE: with Lisa...but she gets scared of me

I SING: to God mainly

I CRY: when I realise I've let down God or Lisa


I AM NOT ALWAYS: good

I MAKE: mistakes

I WRITE: less than I'd like

I CONFUSE: myself when I'm tired, let alone everyone else!

I NEED: a hug

I SHOULD: get back to work

I START: most things off well

FINISH: at 3:20 today!

Monday, April 24

My Challenge

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise dispenses knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly."

Proverbs 15:1-2

I think this is something I need to work on.

Friday, April 21

The Slowest ½ Hour On Earth

...is the ½ hour before I finish work. I don't really have anything to do, and I don't wanna leave before I'm meant to...argh...gimme work!!!!

Honestly, when you were younger did you ever *want* work to do!? You dreamed of a job where you got paid and did nothing all day. Now that you're all grown up, you realise that doing nothing all day is *much* worse than working!

Hmm, random thought time. Did you know there's a campaign to ban the common light bulb and switch over to energy-saving ones. Apparently, an energy saving bulb lasts 8-10 times longer than a normal bulb - that means that even though they're more expensive, they work out probably about the same for the amount of 10 bulbs! Add on to that the fact that you're saving a *huge* amount on electric compared to a normal bulb and I think you'll find that getting rid of normal bulbs is much cheaper overall. I read somewhere that over the life time of 1 energy saving bulb you'd save over £100 in electric compared to 10 normal bulbs!! Crazy eh? So why do people keep getting normal bulbs?

'Cuz they're "cheaper". Ha. I'd rather have a bulb that I *didn't* have to climb up and replace every 6 months!

Any other random thoughts? Anybody? Do I hear seven? No...I don't think I do...either that or I'm hearing things. Again.

Youth tonight! Lis and I took last month off of Youth, which was kinda nice! We've only been back once, but I found I was a lot more chilled than I had previously been. It was taking *far* more than usual for the kids to wind me up, LoL. Maybe, just maybe, I was nicer to them too. But, shhhhhh, don't tell them that ;-)

Right, that's enough for me - better get back to my 'work'.

IQ Test

I finally got round to doing the IQ test thingy...

Your IQ score is 140!

Your mind's strengths allow you to think ahead of the game -- to imagine or anticipate what should happen next in just about any situation. Because you're equally skilled in the numerical and verbal universes of the brain, you can draw from multiple sources of information to come up with new ideas and this makes you a Visionary Philosopher. You also have a knack for matching and anticipating patterns in all sorts of situations, a talent that adds to your visionary philosopher mind.

Blimey...'Visionary Philosopher'...sounds impressive!!!

Thursday, April 20

Extreme Recycling

I want one...

Tuesday, April 18

The Best Post Secret...

Here

Wednesday, April 12

My type

Your type is the girl next door

Cute, fun, and sweet, your ideal girl is just a stone's throw away - she's the girl next door. She's Sandra Bullock, Billie Piper, and Meg Ryan all rolled up into one. Naturally pretty rather than glamorous, she's unpretentious and generous. She loves animals and children, and is great with both. You're attracted to her strong values and traditional ways. Although she demands great respect, she's not particularly high-maintenance. Her ideal date is more likely to be dinner and a film than heading out for a night on the town. She's careful yet spontaneous - a bit of the guy's girl, a bit of a cover girl (the nice kind), and just a hint of the hippie chick. But she's got an appeal that's all her own, which is why you can't stay away. Her winning smile, bright eyes, and loving nature make you want to hold on tight and never let go.

Wednesday, April 5

Me questions

1. LOOK ABOVE YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN..WHAT DO YOU SEE?
"[company name] holiday planner 2006"


2. PRESS A RANDOM LETTER ON YOUR KEYBOARD WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED?
w

3. ARE YOU ON MSN AT THE MOMENT?
Nope

4. STAND UP AND REACH UP...DO YOU TOUCH THE CEILING?
No

5. NOW REACH IN FRONT OF YOU (STILL STOOD UP) WHAT DO YOU TOUCH?
"[company name] holiday planner 2006"

6. WHATS THE LAST THING A PERSON SAID TO YOU ON MSN?
Uhm...I was talking briefly to Luke Green - he said 'goodbye' or something similar

7. WHAT CAN U HEAR RIGHT NOW?
Bryan Adams on the radio..dunno the song, but he rocks :-D

8. PICK UP THE NEAREST BOOK... TURN TO PAGE 27 LINE 18 WHAT IS IT?
"because of the tremendous number of new controls in ASP.NET 2.0. The toolbox is showin in Figure 2-11."


The next closest book says "Use the CONVERT function for conversions to and from numeric values"

...well, I *am* at work :-P

9. WHAT IS YOUR PERSONAL MESSAGE ON MSN RIGHT NOW?
Tristan@work (probably)

10. WHATS ON TV RIGHT NOW?
Uhm...dunno. The news on BBC News 24?

11. LOOK TO YOUR RIGHT..WHAT DO YOU SEE?
A potted plant in a metal pot.

12. GO ON THE INTERNET, TYPE IN ON GOOGLE YOUR FULL NAME
Something about american football and how 'hot' Tristan Thompson is -
here

13.WHATS ON YOUR MOUSEMAT?
Me no got. Got wooden table underneath.

14. WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black.

15. WHAT MAKE IS YOUR COMPUTER?
Shuttle X PC

16. IF YOU WALK 5 STEPS TO YOUR RIGHT..AND REACH TO THE LEFT..WHAT DO YOU TOUCH?
A potted plant in a metal pot.

17. IS THERE SOMEONE IN YOUR BATHROOM RIGHT NOW?
Dunno, I'm not at home. I don't think anyone is in any of the 3 bathrooms at work right now though.

18. IS THERE A GUEST IN YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW?
Yep, I think Lisa is there.

19. ARE YOU EATING?
No... :'(

20. ARE YOU DRINKING?
I have a bottle of cold water next to me

21. TYPE YOUR PHONE NUMBER....
YOUR PHONE NUMBER....

22. WHAT TIME IS IT?
15:03

23. IS YOUR CHAIR COMFY?
Not bad


24. DOES THIS QUIZ DO ANYTHING FOR YOU?
Not really.